Onwards and Upwards - time to start anew and afresh.....

 So - here we are again, my last official blog i did was in 2011 about my London Marathon!

What a year 2020 has been so far...for so many people.

As far as I am / we are concerned - in a nutshell - My 6th decade English Channel swim was all booked and sorted out for early August this year - i was due to leave Jersey on July 25th.. Sponsored by VG Jersey, Magic Touch and Columbia Estates, and raising monies for Jersey Alzheimers and Jersey Lifeboats - i started training in earnest last year... started promoting it in earnest in January my crew was all sorted and I and was very positive  about it all

Mid February - i went to Wellington,  New Zealand to support Prabhat Koli and his family while he attempted the Cook Straits - the last swim of his Oceans 7 challenges - once he completed this, he would become the youngest to do so and only the 2nd Asian Swimmer

We were told in December 2019, that hubby Charlie was going to need an Upgrade on his Pacemaker - a new device called a CRT - and this could only be fitted in the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. Ok - so i requested that it was done in advance for our Med.Cruise  due to leave Rome on May1 for 2 weeks......

The Cardiology team would do their best.....

I returned from NZ on 24 Feb - sadly Prabhat was unable to complete his swim and also while i was away, My stepson Sean, found his Mum passed away in her home in Norwich. ..a tragic and sad event which upset everyone concerned...

A stupid and nasty virus, Covid-19 had started to spread the world too....and the world was about o go into shock

Fortunately , Sean managed to organise a day trip to Spurs for him and Charlie - watching Norwich play Spurs at the brand new stadion in Londo on March 4th .. and I went to Dover for the annual Channel Swimmers dinner on  March 6th

C-19 was starting to 'bubble' everywhere......i returned on March 7th - to a relatively safe Jersey

I opted that we went into separate bedrooms as I would be walking Charlie dog regularly and did not want to take any chances possibly bringing germs home - despite me being mostly on my own and outside most of the time - the weather was just INCREDIBLE .

Charlie's heart trace in March - clearly decided that they needed to get his new device in Sooner rather than later - so a date was to be sorted

THEN - end of March - LOCKDOWN IN JERSEY - Borders were closed and only emergency/essential and medical travel was allowed in or out of the Island.....

So - we shielded Charlie at home - we carried on with home deliveries. all local honesty box shopping, and fresh local seafood - for 8 weeks - lots of doggie walking (hours we spent in the glorious weather) and i swam almost daily with 1/2 other friends -we kept it very low key - hours outside were restricted and no household mixing was allowed - EVERYONE was in Lockdown, 

IT WAS BIZARRE - but actually very calm and peaceful at home. The spring flowers were simply amazing - the roads and skies were quiet and clear - those were the wonderful benefits of lockdown.

Plus we had 8 lovely weeks - just together,  

Then, our Cruise was cancelled  (inevitable as Italy and Europe was RIFE with Covid - as was everyone's holidays all started to be cancelled -  and then we received our Date for Charlie's Op

May 12th. He would have to Travel over on Monday May 11 - on the Medical flight to Southampton have his Op and hen return home on Wednesday May 13.  I was unable to travel with him - due to Covid. UK was on an even stricter Lockdown that Jersey - so the worry and concerned were starting in April

We carried on doing what we were doing - the Covid cases and deaths worldwide were growing by the hour - it was depressing and scary. Poor Charlie was very very concerned about travelling alone especially with al this going on. And i was not very happy about it all either

All went ok - he went - they removed his 12 year old old pacemaker , put this new CRT device in  (took over 3 hours to do so) and sent him home tired but pleased it was finally done.

We carried on as before; had a check up with Lee Anne Penn on 19 May - all seemed ok - but i did notice his site wound was a bit mucky - and it was a much bigger  device than before.

then - he started feeling very tired - and stopped eating pretty much - we had the last Clap for Carers on Thursday May 21 - and the next day (Bank Holiday Friday - again) Charlie was really unwell - he was sick - slept all morning. I came home after our walk and my swim and he was semi conscious. I spoke with Lee Anne - she asked me to contact our GP - he had gone home - so i called the ambulance.

Suspected SEPSIS - i was not allowed to to into the Hospital with him (No visiting either) - he was admitted into HDU for IV Antibiotics - and they started speaking with John Radcliffe. By Sunday - it was decided he would have to be Air ambulanced  back to the JR - which happened on Monday 25th (Bank Holiday Monday - he had a bad habit of falling ill on Bank holidays!)

I took Charlie Dog to go see him off....I also realised then that with the way things were going, i HAD to postpone my Channel swim until 2021. I simply did not need the pressure of having to train whilst looking after/visiting/nursing Charlie - whereever he was going to be,....

They monitored him on the antibiotics - for over a WEEK - he was not allowed any visitors - i was not allowed to be there with him - and by Sunday 31st May - i was informed that they had the Cardiology back up team was all ready to come in for Monday June 1 - for the op to remove this device. It was going to be a tricky op to say the least - and very worrying. BUT The infection was in the device and wound apparently - so it HAD to come out

Monday June 1 - late afternoon , finally - he went down. IT TOOK ALMOST 5 hours to remove it. Nasty.

But then he was left without a pacemaker - alone in a UK hospital - simply waiting to come home.

He finally came home on Thursday June 4th (Charlie Dog and I saw him came back) - and straight into Sorel ward - and finally i was allowed to visit . Poor Charlie - he had been through so much already. It was horrid for him.

Little Charlie was very very unsettled too as I was having to leave him there and there to go visit. Like his Dad Charlie, He was not eating well and Charlie Man would only eat anything if I was there to feed him too.

It was a very turbulent few weeks indeed.

Then it was Charlie's Birthday on June 19 - I had arranged for brother David to come in with me and for Aunty Sue to bring Charlie Dog into see his Dad again on the grourd floor..it was very emotional. 

Charlie Dad was still being pumped full of antibiotics and diuretics because his poor heart simply could not function on its own - and pump all the fluids building up around all his vital organs.so he was permanently in and out of sleep and he could not understand why he could not have this new device put back in.  It was a horrid time for us all.

It was becoming very clear - that it was so urgent that he had this device put back in - but I was very very concerned that his body would/could not take the travel back to JR OR the Op itself.

BUT I was told categorically - he would not live without it. So be it - so on Thursday - despite the hospital team concerned about him making the air trip over to JR - he left about Midday - i really didn't want him to go, It was awful. He arrived safely - but within 2 hours - the JR called me - to say he was not strong enough for the OP.

I knew this. I then have to wait over here - during the worst and most turbulent weekend of his life - waiting for them to send him back home. I arranged for his Mates and some UK Family members to go visit him - thankfully. Plus they stopped all his meds that weekend, in preparation for palliative care.

Anyway - they finally brought him home to Corbiere ward on Monday evening the 29th June. We were so relieved he was home. And so was the Cardiology team believe me,

Tuesday it was decided to find him a bed at the wonderful Jersey Hospice. ... i was delighted. He moved in to Room 9 on Wednesday July 1. 

Finally peace and calm. He was off all his meds - he was speaking again - i was able to stay with him during the daytimes with Charlie Dog - it was so precious.

Sean arrived on Thursday 2nd July - but he was to allowed in until his Covid Negative tests results came through - so we all waited, and waited..

The Borders officially opened on Friday 3rd July 

Jessica and Thanda gave birth to their gorgeous twin girls on Jsy 3rd...welcome Aquila and Starla.

- and the test results FINALLY came through on Sunday 5th July.,,,

Charlie was having the most amazing day - eating well three good meals - 9 FaceTime calls with friend across the world - Sean found himself a scooter to use whilst out walking... we arranged for Charlie to have a lovely hot shower on the Monday morning.

Sean, Charlie dog and I left just after 7 - Charlie said  to me 'thanks for getting my family back together for me'... and we went home and enjoyed a lobster and a nice drink after an amazing day, all together.

I called as i always did, before i wet to bed and He was sleeping soundly.

I called again first thing (6.30 again, as I always did) on Monday morning - and he was still in a very deep sleep..they were checking him every 15 mins as they always did.

And asleep he stayed ... and simply slipped away at 08.25 on Monday 6th January. His heart simply stopped in his sleep.  

They called me straight away. Sean decided to stay at home and i met Brother David there at 9.

We stayed talking with him for about an hour and then left him in peace.

Bless him. The long 23 year battle with heart disease/failure plus all the ongoing complications - was over. He was finally at peace.

We could not have planned or chosen a better way for him - he loved his sleep - always

SO, I had to plan his Life celebration - which I did - for July 24th, giving time for visitors to get over and be tested in time for it - and racing forward to now - we gave him the best send off we possibly could have under all the Covid restrictions and situation - 

OCTOBER 1 2020 -TIME TO  START THINKING ABOUT OUR NEW, READJUSTED FUTURE... 

this is going to take time. A lot of time. We are almost 13 weeks on now - lots of admin has been completed - still not all complete but we are almost there.

Charlie Dog is almost back to himself and I am still, taking everything slowly, once day at a time - with no BIG Plans - apart from, waiting from Eddie my Pilot to confirm a new date for my "6th decade, Channel Swim for Charlie" in 2021. I have spoken with Rachelle from VG Jersey - i have now started my personal training again to get strong.  Once i have my date - then i can start moving forward slowly but surely.

I am feeling positive; I am one of these people who needs a goal, a focus - and this will be it,

So i have decided to start a blog - to help me start anew with my new focus - with Charlie's wonderful spirit and smile with me all the way - he was always my proudest and biggest supporter. 

I need to do him proud.  and I will.

As i start increasing my training and drive i will update this as often as i can.

Thank you 

Onwards and upwards.......This time next year Rodney.....

One of my Favourite Family photos..

Charlie's little signature and "Smile" will be with me - forever.